there are things i need to be accountable to myself, and more significantly my faith. here are boring intimate conversations with thin air and also it is all gonna be wordy, but they are usually the more important things to me at the moment. feel free to comment and disagree if you feel convicted! discussion is always enlightening. :)  

as 2007 beckons, there are things i wish to see myself working towards:

- being a roaring lamb!

for a while i was struggling with what i could do for God. which ministry to join? what to involve myself in? i think ministry is important but as a fairly young Christian, i'm finally understanding that it is better not to give in to impluses when i'm on a spiritual high. rather, to wait patiently all in all for God's training and direction. and so for the past 2 years i haven't been in an official ministry. i could see the cell as one, and what an amazing one it has been, but it has never been 100% official. i felt i could do more. 

then lately, i got incredibly inspired by Bob Briner's Roaring Lambs. it's a book urging Christians to penetrate into culture-shaping professions (e.g.: journalists, film-makers, visual-makers, etc), to perform with Christian values and ace the job while at it. it really isn't just about doing things in church, but going beyond that to be salt of the earth. i've long shared this view of having excellence in the worldly callings given to us, may it be our jobs or simply having the position of student. people only notice the best or the different. if Christians need to convince, we need to be noticed in this sort of way. and also, we need to dedicate our excellence to God.

i love how Briner puts it, "Culturally, we are lambs. Meek, lowly, easily dismissed cuddly creatures that are fun to watch but never a threat to the status quo. It's time for those lambs to roar." roar indeed! i once thought about living dangerously for God. but i just never knew how. i guess the answer is getting clearer -- truly getting out of the comfort zone, taking risks, always changing for the better, doing and not just having dialogue. for one, i hope the editorial position at Chron is something i could push myself at when it comes to being a roaring lamb. there are better directions i want the newspaper to take and i hope i will see them through instead of having excuses and being jaded. i do want it to be stellar. so i'm going to pray for a spirit of excellence and for a God-given mindset. in any case i'd have to be praying really hard... am just shaking thinking of the number of issues we'd be seeing through...

- ministry

for quite some time i have been questioning what i could do for God with the gifts i have, and i think i am nearing my calling, but will definitely have to pray for confirmation. all will be revealed in time to come... ;)

- effective commitment 

i've got to thank Tiff for this term she coined, inspired by Econs (yes, Econs! what an international mystery). i have this habit that's not the least helpful -- i can be entirely interested, but never committed. which leads to a lot of empty promises and a 'jack of all trades master of none' scenario. i've got to decide what my committments are for the year. i never got this thing they call "priorities" right. so 2007 will be a good test. here are the things i have decided committing myself to: the guitar, newspaper, design, God (no bargaining here, and this includes the bible, daily). oh, and this is just for 2007. i know how people make life-long commitments, but hey, i've got to conquer those baby steps first!

- character and integrity

being a good person was hard this year, but that really is no excuse for me to falter in character. so what if the world sucks? this is one thing i've chosen to beat not join. i have also learnt from Ling that, being a woman does not give one the justification for moodswings and all such related to that. i believe we could overcome them with prayer and much practice. God is bigger than our biological make-up isn't he? :) i need to tame the trantrums. and cynicism and skepticism are definitely impermissable. also, i want to finally answer this integrity question well: who are you when no one's looking?

one more thing, this being VERY important and should NOT be excluded amongst everything else: i want to keep enjoying and celebrating life as the year unfolds itself. need i say more?? ;)